Philolsophy and five annoyinq questions!

I like questions; I like being asked sensible questions and I like asking questions. BUT there are four questions that I find really, really annoying and they are:

What happens when an irresistable force meets an immovable object?
If a tree falls in the forest with no-one to hear it does it still make a sound?
Which came first; the chicken or the egg?
Is the glass half-empty or half-full?

The first two I find only mildly irritating because they're not asked (of me) very often and it's not really the question that's irritating but the asker. Or, rather, the attitude of the asker. It's the 'these are philosophical questions and therefore I am a philosopher to have thought to have asked them' attitude that annoys me. So let's just consider that...

Whether the questions themselves should be termed philosophical I choose not to comment upon (but certainly they are widely considered so).

Does the asking of the question mean that you are a philosopher? Erm... no! Not unless the question is your own original thought, which, as these particular questions are ages-old they are not. What you are doing is merely repeating the question and unless you are a lecturer in philosophy that means you are a smug so-and-so who hasn't even considered the question!

Would considering the question make you a philosopher? Possibly.

How do I know you haven't really considered the question? Well, if you had you would know the answer! It's really quite simple.

Moving on to the 'chicken and egg...' This question irritates me a whole lot more than the previous two not only because I hear it more but because it is often used to terminate a debate, usually in a condescending manner and implying that there is no solution. Again, it shows that the speaker, although trying to adopt the philosophical high-ground, isn't really as bright as he/she thinks they are because the answers to the chicken/egg question are blindingly obvious! Yes, I did say "answers" plural; there are two answers because the question itself is imprecise.

Now the last question... the one about that glass!!! This one really sets my nerve on edge! Why? Because it has been adopted as a means of pigeon-holing people as being optimistic or pessimistic. What utter ROT! The use of this question for this purpose is ill-conceived and again only serves to show the lack of thought and total lack of originality on the part of the asker. I could give you my 'answer' now but I would be risking RSI of my typing finger. Suffice to say that this particular question is also annoying because it is a pointless question - the 'answer' doesn't matter!

Oh, my title does say five questions doesn't it? Well the last one is unique in my experience; a smug so-and-so of my acquaintance always asks "Why did the chicken cross the road?" when trying to terminate a debate - he's mistaken it for the 'chicken/egg' question! Which which would actually annoy me more, if it wasn't so funny!

If you would like answers to the above questions I shall be happy to supply them, if you ask nicely.